A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself (Josh Billings)

A friend doesn`t go on a diet because you are fat (Erma Bombeck)

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one (Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings)

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before (Mae West)

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. (Mark Twain)

God could create the world in six days because he didn’t have to make it compatible with the previous version.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company (Mark Twain)

Humor is despair refusing to take itself seriously. (Arland Ussher)

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally (W.C. Fields)

I like marriage. The idea. (Toni Morrison)

I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. (Anne Wilson Schaef)

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong (Bertrand Russell)